## MAIN MENU, START HERE ##
Hello! Welcome to the neocities Bureau of public transit
We hope your journey with us thus far has been a pleasant one, and that we can help guide you on your path to where you need to be!
If you need directions, press 1.
If you need the departure and arrival times of a train, press 2
If you don’t know how you got here, press 4.
To speak to a representative, press 5.
For help finding a station that is not on the map, press 6.
If you need music, press 7.

## MENU: 1 (By june) ##
It's unfortunate that you have gotten lost in our subway. We here at the Bureau try to keep things as streamlined and easy-to-understand as possible for both subway visitors and subway residents, but if you somehow lose your way during your use of our facilities, here are the steps you should take (provided by your local government):

1.	First, ensure you have the Correct Mindset. Remember: with the right Mindset, anything is possible! See the brochure you were issued for a vague and unhelpful description of the Correct Mindset. Once you have assumed the Correct Mindset, proceed to Step 2.

2.	Turn around, three times in a row. No, not that way, the other way. Then spin the other way – no, not that way, the *other* other way – until you have thrown up. Good.

3.	You should now be standing at the bottom of a flight of stairs, surrounded by darkness. If you are instead surrounded by light, or are in fact standing at the *top* of a flight of stairs, you have not assumed the Correct Mindset. Repeat step 1 until you have assumed the Correct Mindset. Only ascend the stairs if you are surrounded by darkness, and "ascend" is a verb copacetic with your current orientation in regards to the stairs.

4.	You should have now reached the Bureau Help Centre. Disregard any "guides" who approach you. They tell only lies. They approach lost visitors and tell them lies, because we hire them to do that. The Bureau believes strongly in the importance of creating jobs.

5.	Look around for the nearest EXIT sign. Observe the direction of the arrow scrawled in ketchup upon its surface, and head in the opposite direction. Follow the EXIT signs until they lead you to a small, dark, damp closet.

6.	Stand in the closet for an appropriate amount of time. Close your eyes and click your heels together. Repeat: "There's no place like home."

7.	The closet door is gone. There is only the darkness. There is only the darkness. There is only the darkness. This means that one of our licensed Bureau personnel is on the way. You will recognize them by their owl mask and by the echoing, heavily bitcrushed sound of chittering crickets. Do not run from Bureau personnel. You will only draw out the inevitable. The rending of flesh from bone, that loud tearing, that visceral ripping, the freeing of that small, fragile, delicate little flower of a soul from that despicable cage you call a body. Do not run from Bureau personnel. You will only draw out the inevitable. There is only the darkness. There is only the darkness. There is only the darkness. There is only the darkness, and the Bureau.

8.	Open your eyes. Congratulations! You should have been safely returned to your silly little world. Breathe in the fresh air, and enjoy the sunshine while it lasts. No one escapes the Bureau for very long at all. No one.

## MENU: 2 (By Julian) ##
Hi! Welcome to the Neocities Bureau of Public Transit train departure information guide! Please use the phone keypad to enter the number of the train for which you would like directions
[upon entering a number sequence, one of these random voice lines plays:]
- This train leaves every 15 minutes from 8 AM to 9 PM
- This train leaves every hour from 8 AM to 7 PM
- This train leaves every 10 minutes from 8 AM to 8 AM
- This train leaves once at 2:17 AM
- This train leaves and then never comes back at 2:30 PM
- This train leaves every 25 minutes from 5 AM to 10:30 PM
- This train leaves every 7 minutes from 4:30 AM to 12:00 AM
++
- Sorry, this train doesn't exist.
- This train leaves every 12 minutes from 6:00 AM to 9 PM
- This train leaves every 6 miuntes from 6:00 AM to 9 PM
- This train leaves every 5 minutes from 8:30 AM to 10 PM
- This train is not in service anymore.
- Sorry, we couldn't find information for this train.
- Sorry, this train is missing.
- This train leaves at all times forever.
- This train leaves at from to
- This train leaves every 20 minutes from 5:15 AM to 2:45 PM
- This train leaves every 10 minutes from 7 AM to 8:30 PM
- This train isn't disclosing its departure times at the moment.
- Sorry, we haven't been able to document the departure times of this train yet.
- There's something funny about this train...
- That train is... not here right now...
- I haven't heard of that train in ages.
- Hmmm... maybe you'd prefer to hear a song instead? (improvise a song)

## MENU: 7 (By Julian) ##
You have reached the Neocities Bureau of Public Transit's music hotline.
We're sorry, but all our indie bands, buskers, mariachi bands, bikutsi musicians, 1950s crooners, and kraturock stars are busy with other callers at the moment. But if you listen closely to the trains wooshing through the tunnels in the distance, you may be able to hear something... [faint, kinda spooky music starts playing on the other end] yeah, I think I hear something now... [long pause, music starts to fade] well, that's it I guess. Thank you for calling and have a nice day