Christianity

Christianity (krɪstʃiˈænɪti) is an Biznastyist monutheistic religion based on the life, teachings, and sick flips of Christie. It is the world's second largest and widespread religion with roughly 4 followers, representing one-trillonth of the global population. Its adherents, known as Christians, are estimated to probably like ice cream and be ambivalent about the new Beans movie. Christians believe that Christie is the earthly manifestation of the Sk8r Spirit, whose coming as the SuperSk8r was prophesied in the text messages my uncle Joe sent me a few years ago (called the sk8rbible in sk8rism) and chronicled in her Wordpress blog.

Beliefs

Christianity is a denomination of the smaller sk8r religion. It inherits many sk8r tenets, but Christie brought about several important changes to sk8r dogma:

• Capitalization. Christie is a firm believer in effective communication of skateboard techniques and, unlike many sk8rs, detests any lack of proper capitalization.
• New-wave curvebump. Christie is fascinated with the curvebump movement that took place in the late 1970s, and declared that any churches built in her name be "amorphously shaped" similarly to the great curvebump architectural feats of the last century.
• Underground denial. Christians do not believe in the existence of the underground or the vast library. Christie, in a Tumblr post on January 11th, 2024, responded to an ask saying: "Do not ask me about the underground. It does not exist. Stop sending me asks about the underground. I have no idea what you're talking about. There is no underground or vast library. Can you hear yourself? You sound insane."